My Letter to David Caton and His Florida Family Association

I just tried to send the following letter to the Florida Family Association's David Caton. After hitting the submit button, the notification was that my message could not be sent, probably because their server is being overwhelmed with messages. I shall try again later, but for now, here is my note to the benighted David:

Dear David,

I would like to congratulate you for amply demonstrating something that we in the 'Great White North' have known for a very long time: that many Americans, especially those who subscribe to and support groups such as yours, are shockingly backward, racist and clearly just not very intelligent.

I would also like to thank you for helping me to know the companies I should avoid when spending my consumer dollars. At the top of my list is Lowe's, which proved its utter lack of integrity by giving in to pressure from people who clearly lack even the most basic of cognitive and reasoning skills.

Finally, I would like to thank you for providing endless opportunities for people like me to mock people like you, both in our blogs and in our conversations with our friends.

Keep up your exciting work. I look forward to your next buffoonish campaign with great anticipation.

Sincerely,
Lorne Warwick

P.S. I will be sending a copy of this letter to all of the feckless companies who have allowed themselves to be intimidated by the likes of you.

More on American Doofuses

Last night, in high dudgeon, I wrote a somewhat intemperately-worded piece on American 'intelligence,' (prompted by Lowe's dropping its sponsorship of a TLC show, All American Muslim, due to pressure from a backward reactionary group - is there any other kind?) breaking my rule about making sweeping generalizations; I should amend that now by saying that I know that not all Americans are benighted, just a seemingly overwhelming number of them.

To help support my contention, I offer you this link to a segment of the Daily Show in which Jon Steward skewers the Florida Family Association for its stance against the show. According to its spokesman, David Caton, the show's fault lies in the fact that it shows Muslims as ordinary people, not the bomb-hurling terrorists they really are.

I'm proud of myself. I was able to write this post without descending into harsh invective and sweeping generalizations despite much provocation, as you will see if you watch the clip. I think I also succeeded in writing it without showing the withering contempt I feel, both for Lowe's cowardice and David Caton's contemptuous bigotry.