The Relentless, Indefatigable Chip Franklin

Most days I stop myself from reposting Chip Franklin's hilarious screeds. Today is not one of those days.

If you're a Trumper, and you think I'm a liberal doling out fake news, then make yourself a Clorox cocktail, get a few X-rays and book the next flight to Georgia. Let me know how that works out for ya...https://t.co/i17FfR2vAx pic.twitter.com/VqFOYYl8x6

— Chip Franklin (@chipfranklin) April 24, 2020

UPDATED: Another Sad, Mad Episode

Listening to Donald Trump prattle on is like bearing witness to the stream-of-consciousness ravings of a backward, depraved child:

“And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute,” Trump said. “One minute! And is there a way we can do something, by an injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it’d be interesting to check that. So, that you’re going to have to use medical doctors with, but it sounds interesting to me.”

Dr Deborah Birx, the taskforce response coordinator, remained silent. But social media erupted in hilarity and outrage at the president, who has a record of defying science and also floated the idea of treating patients’ bodies with ultraviolet (UV) light.

I'll leave the final word to Walter Shaub, the former director of the Office of Government Ethics:

“It is incomprehensible to me that a moron like this holds the highest office in the land and that there exist people stupid enough to think this is OK. I can’t believe that in 2020 I have to caution anyone listening to the president that injecting disinfectant could kill you.”

P.S. Should you be wondering how the Twitterverse is reacting, click here.

I am particularly fond of this one:

Lysol Counters Trump Briefing: Do Not Ingest Disinfectants. Normally they only need to worry about children or suicidal people ingesting their product, not psychotic president’s trying to kill their own people #lysol #disinfectant #injectingdisinfectant https://t.co/BBi4Aj2eXP

— Duty To Warn 🔉 (@duty2warn) April 24, 2020

UPDATE:

The Hits Keep Coming.

This certainly beats having to write something for my blog. Thanks to my friend Dom for sending me the following:

With A Little Help From The Feds

Sorry (not really); I just can't help myself:

Streaming 24 Hours A Day

The United States may be an empire in deep and irreversible decline, but it continues to excel in one area: comedy of the absurd. Its citizenry's irrational antics amply serve both as entertainment to saner jurisdictions and sobering indictments of exactly how low the human animal can sink:

To All Trump Enthusiasts Everywhere

I'm sure your master endorses this message.



Meanwhile, Heather Mallick has an interesting explanation for the servile attitude so many Americans have toward their clown president.

Why do Americans, alleged rugged individualists, upholders of liberty, haters of king and government, put up with this grotesque man? They’re in the habit of doing so, some American observers have said. Most presidents — thought not Nixon or Dubya — generally talked sense before and Americans grew used to listening.

But it’s more than habit. Americans bow down to authority just as Britons do to monarchs and aristocrats; they doff their cap. They actually play a silly song, “Hail to the Chief,” when a president enters a room and have done so since 1829.

Americans worship titles. We refer to former prime ministers, but a president is called President for the rest of his life. On political talking heads shows, a long-retired diplomat is always called “Ambassador.” Generals remain generals even after retirement, which seems hopelessly pompous.

For me, however, the crowning element of her article is her invocation of some classic Shakespearean insults she deems particularly fitting to lob at the mendacious, inept, sociopathic American president:

“He’s a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker.” “Thou cream-faced loon! Where got’st thou that goose look?” “Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie.” “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon”

“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly, that reverend Vice, that grey Iniquity, that father Ruffian, that Vanity in years?”

Shakespeare truly was a man for all time.

Build That Wall!

It is our only hope of keeping out citizens of the Benighted States of America such as these: