Monday, December 29, 2014

A Harper Naming Contest



Although there is no official prize, except possibly the profound gratitude of all those who aspire to rid our country of the Harper regime, a response by Scotian to a previous post about the cowardly lion who now 'leads' us got me thinking about a contest with which we might have some fun.

First, here is what Scotian said:
I normally do not use pejorative nicknames for politicians, hell, I don't generally use nicknames at all, but this requires one, and I am torn between Captain Closet or The Closet Commando. I'm leaning towards the former, because it resonates to the image of Captain Canada which Harper loves to portray him as, and as much as I hate to say it, when I say it I hear in the back of my head that old Hanna Barbara cartoon Character "Captain CAVEman!" shout as well, and I hope that also might resonate in the older voting crowd.

I believe it is important to get this into common use as much as possible as soon as possible to combat the revisionism Harper has been doing on this subject, because this moment in his life showed his true character, as moments of crisis will do in the heat with human beings. Given his bellicosity on the international stage, given his branding himself as a strong domestic leader the fact that his first instinct was the abandon his closest people and hide by his own choice needs not to be forgotten!
While I very much like both of Scotian's suggestions, I want to extend naming rights for the 'illustrious one' to all Canadians.

Assuming there is some interest in this idea, the best suggestions will be reprinted in a separate post in the near future.

24 comments:

  1. Stephen 'the real poutine' Harper
    Its a good idea in my view.. to develop compact memorable themes & references.. 'STOP HARPER' was and still is brilliant..
    so 'Stephen 'STOP' Harper' may extend that ..

    There's lots of strong synergy happening.. but very important to identify not just the Harper gaming and grooming of Canada but the truly ludicrous complicits - MPs, Ministers, Senators, staffers, donors, energy partners, enablers, trolls, robo/live electoral cranks/thugs.. all wallowing in the toxic Harper trough.

    With the opportunity of a lifetime.. to be Prime Minister of Canada, Harper swiftly began working secretly for his own ideology, agenda and plan.. not on behalf of Canadians. After manipulating our processes even further and gaining a majority he swiftly initiated omnibus bills via Flaherty, Clement, Baird et al and the shallow veneer fell away completely.

    The various clues to the blurry evangel rapture monarchist makeup of Stephen Harper culminate in a man who clambers into a broom closet during a startling crisis.. and is so glib as to inform Peter Mansbridge and a breathless nation that he's not going to comment on that.. when probed.

    This the same political animal that now sets his foreign views as Canada's policy without concern for what actual Canadians think. We caught the sense of this via Mark Adler .. whining 'its the money shot, the election..' during the bizarre Harper junket to Israel in aircraft loaded with rabbis .. and partisan jackals

    Well if someone comes up with the anchor knickname for Harper.. amen
    He's a fraud, a sociopath, vain, controlling, secretive to an extent we do not know, manipulative beyond our comprehension.. and on his own private mission that likely started off with throwing sand or pissing in the sandboxes of his youth

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    1. Thanks, Salamander. Your comment provides excellent fodder for naming Dear Leader; as you demonstrate with your very restrained examples, there are so many deep flaws that he and his regime manifest that finding a sobriquet to cover the majority will, I suspect, challenge the most imaginative and inventive among us.

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  2. Oh lord Lorne, what a challenge. I have always thought of him as”The Hair” or to use the full title “He of the glued on Hair” but that hardly covers it any more. We could reach back and call him the Parliamentary Rogue which may be accurate but hardly compelling. Perhaps we need to get the scientific community which he hates so much involved, what is the correct scientific name for a slimy creature that crawls out from under a rock and sloughs off any fecal matter that surround it?

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    1. An excellent suggestion, Rural. Latin nomenclature, the foundation of scientific classification, would open up a whole world of possibilities.

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    2. Harper Cons led by a coward in a closet.
      One of my email signatures since the incident.
      A descriptive cowardly name would be great.
      Harper the Cowardly PM. There is probably no better word than coward, understood by all of us to describe Harper in a situation of some danger.
      Norm

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    3. Thanks Norm. I especially like the alliterative ring of 'coward in a closet.'

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  3. I do agree that the sooner, and the more frequently, we point out Harper's act of cowardice in going for the closet as soon as the bullets were flying, the more likely we open the eyes of the ignorant voters who might still think of this guy as Captain Canada, which he definitely is not.

    While "Captain Closet" or "Closet Commando" are interesting names, one would have to be politically attuned to know that they refer to Harper and his dive for the closet. However, we undoubtedly know that most Canadians are disconnected from politics. Thus the association of these two names with Harper would be likely lost on many voters.

    Therefore, I humbly suggest instead "PM Closet Harper". Even the ignorant would be forced to ask why "Closet" ? Then the answer should dawn on them (or they would ask someone why). If the answer still eludes them after that, then I suggest they are beyond hope .... in which case, they will be voting for Harper no matter what names we come up with, eh?

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    1. Thanks, Anon. A very interesting approach that would surely tweak the curiosity of some of the disengaged.

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  4. Lying Brian stuck. And I always think of Mr. Clement as Tony Gazebo. This is a great idea!

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    1. Lyin' Brian has withstood the test of time, Anon. Perhaps the key is either some form of rhyme or alliteration? Although too narrow, 'Thievin' Stephen' just occurred to me, given that he has stolen so much of Canada's pride with his disdain for our traditional values.

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    2. Chicken Stephen !!! Rhymes too.

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    3. It is sad, though, that the poultry community has to be impugned in the process, Anon.

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  5. Now Harper is allowing Michael Coren and Warren Kinsella to foster a public perception that members of the RCMP or some other security agents shoved him into the closet.

    From 19 December:

    http://warrenkinsella.com/2014/12/prime-time-harpers-year-in-reviews-reviewed/

    Watch the video from 3 min 35 s through 6 min 4 s.

    Coren: " ...the person being guarded, a potential victim, has no say in what happens. Security takes over. Often they are pushed to the floor. They're shoved like a package into any place that was [sic] safe. If he was in a closet, the chances are it wasn't his decision."

    Kinsella: "It was not his decision - you know, I ah, I mean - a closet, under a table, if they have to throw him on the floor in the way that Ronald Reagan was the day that he was shot ... they do that. ... It's not the decision of political staff; it is not the decision of a cabinet minister or the PM. The RCMP makes that determination and it’s really unfair, I think, for some marginal people to talk about Harper being a coward in these circumstances. … the police – they’re the ones running the show, and properly so, and it’s – Harper had to do what they told him to do.”

    Well, while these two guys seem to think that they do, this marginal person (yours truly) isn’t aware of the participants in the decision-making process that put Harper in the closet. Of course, it might have been that “training” to which Harper referred while gassing with Mansbridge during their annual fluff piece:

    “You know, I think I’ve mentioned that I’ve been trained …blah – blah – blah.”

    “Were you, as has been reported, put in a closet?”

    “You know, I’m not going to comment on that.”

    Well, when you’re highly trained you don’t think; you just react. I guess.

    Harper struts and crows like a bantam rooster but obviously has had, while apprenticing as a political entrepreneur, no exposure to, and therefore no concern over, the importance that ordinary people attach to the qualities of personal courage and concern for another’s welfare owned by fellow workers, and particularly to that of their leaders. While he does an adequate job of mimicking its posture and manner of expression, Harper obviously really doesn’t have the fight in him that the rooster must demonstrate at times in order to retain its standing in the barnyard. He is "The Bantam Chicken Hawk".

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    1. Your characterization of Harper as The Bantam Chicken Hawk has the ring of truth and authenticity, John. It evokes a very colorful and most apt image in my mind.

      As for the most reverent Mansbridge and his yeoman service to Dear Leader during his 'interview,' there are no polite metaphors I can conceive of that would do him justice.

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  6. Stephen Con Man Harper & his Great Canadian Swindle

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    1. It has a certain ring to it, Salamander.

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  7. Ya "The Chicken Shit would be King" afraid of his own shadow eh?

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  8. I like Commander-in-Closet.

    There are 37 Harper Closet memes here:
    https://www.facebook.com/skeenasage.williamson/media_set?set=a.814490535259823.1073741830.100000966515175&type=3

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    1. Those are great, Skeena! With your permission, I would like to put a few of them, with attribution, on my blog.

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    2. That is absolutely fine with me, Lorne, although I didn't make most of them so I don't want to be credited.

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  9. The blue meanie. I tried to post a pic but i'm talking about the cartoon bully character from the beatles movie yellow submarine, it even looks like $#!+ head...sorry, I mean Stephen Harper. Go ahead and google Blue Meanie

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    1. I just checked it out, Anon. I see what you mean. Thanks for the tip!

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  10. I have the perfect pic of the blue meanie from the beatles movie yellow submarine if somebody can contact me. I just posted it in the facebook group "Canadians rallying to unseat stephen harper" if it goes viral it is the image everyone will associate with harper. Everyone loves the beatles and the blue meanie looks exactly like harper its like it was a gift from john lennon to the canadian people. Its perfect.

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