Santa's Hit List

Well, here it is, Christmas Eve, and Santa has been rechecking his list, and five have been struck from it. This sad distinction goes to the following, who perhaps can be consoled by the fact that they have something in common: they are devoid of any recognizable morality; they have shown consistent contempt for the opinions and values of others, and they are all members of the same club, The Conservative Party of Canada.

5. Minister of National Defence Peter McKay - Peter has been an exceedingly naughty boy this year, living large at the expense of the taxpayer, and abusing what he mistakenly believes are his toys and lying when he gets caught. My sources reveal as a consequence of his bad behaviour, he will be on the no-toy list for decades to come.

4. Government House Leader Peter Van Loan – Struck from Santa's list for defending the indefensible, his novel but morally depraved explanation of why spreading false stories about Irwin Cotler was an exercise in free speech and good for democracy. Santa has grave doubts about whether he will ever see the error of his ways, and so a lifetime ban from the list is likely.

3. Jason Kenny, Canada's Minister of Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism - Jason has had a busy year sowing discord and promoting Islamophobia, but his biggest sin, in Santa's eyes, is his betrayal of Sayed Shah Sharifi, the brave Afghan interpreter who put his life and the lives of his family in danger to provide services to our troops, only to be told he really isn't in danger and thus can't emigrate to Canada. Another lifetime ban from Santa.

2. Environment Minister Peter Kent – His cabinet title and his name together constitute one of the clearest examples of oxymoron that either I or Santa have ever seen. For betraying Canadian integrity, for thumbing his nose at the world by putting profit before the effects of climate change that are already very apparent, Santa predicts a stormy time ahead for this less-than-sterling steward of Mother Nature.

1. Prime Minister Stephen Harper – The dear leader gets primacy of place on Santa's hit list for one very obvious reason. Without Harper, the moral bankruptcy infecting Canada today would not be possible. Setting a tone that shows only contempt for democracy, the courts, public opinion, and the health of developing nations, he, as the master puppeteer presiding over a feckless and opportunistic group of marionettes, is responsible for our current political moral vacuum, thus ensuring the disaffection of large numbers of Canadians, record low turnouts in elections, and general disgust with the political process, all part of his grand plan to ensure the Conservative Party as Canada's natural-governing party.

Usually a jolly and optimistic fellow, Santa holds out absolutely no hope of an Ebenezer Scrooge regeneration for this man's shriveled spirit.

Merry Christmas to some, and to some a good night.