My Letter to David Caton and His Florida Family Association

I just tried to send the following letter to the Florida Family Association's David Caton. After hitting the submit button, the notification was that my message could not be sent, probably because their server is being overwhelmed with messages. I shall try again later, but for now, here is my note to the benighted David:

Dear David,

I would like to congratulate you for amply demonstrating something that we in the 'Great White North' have known for a very long time: that many Americans, especially those who subscribe to and support groups such as yours, are shockingly backward, racist and clearly just not very intelligent.

I would also like to thank you for helping me to know the companies I should avoid when spending my consumer dollars. At the top of my list is Lowe's, which proved its utter lack of integrity by giving in to pressure from people who clearly lack even the most basic of cognitive and reasoning skills.

Finally, I would like to thank you for providing endless opportunities for people like me to mock people like you, both in our blogs and in our conversations with our friends.

Keep up your exciting work. I look forward to your next buffoonish campaign with great anticipation.

Sincerely,
Lorne Warwick

P.S. I will be sending a copy of this letter to all of the feckless companies who have allowed themselves to be intimidated by the likes of you.